The marriage between top Nollywood actress and producer, Foluke Daramola and Kayode Salako, the National Coordinator of Change Agents of Nigeria, and an activist popularly known as Mr. Fasholamania generated a lot of controversies and name calling against the couple. Yet, that has not deterred their love from waxing stronger each passing day. In this no-holds-barred interview with ORUKPE NELSON, the couple candidly explained how their relationship started and what they are currently doing to nurture the love they have for each other.

When and where did you meet?

Foluke: we first met as activists when he started Change Agents of Nigeria Network. He needed a popular face that will help promote the organisation’s dream. A friend introduced me to him and we became mutual friends.

Kayode: I met her unexpectedly through a friend, a lady who was also her friend. The lady was a member of a project I run in Lagos, Fasholamania Independent Support Movement. So when we decided to start the Change Agents of Nigeria network, CANN, I told her that I would need a popular face or celebrity to work with me probably as a director of publicity. When the lady called Foluke to come and meet me, I thought she was just joking when she agreed to come, but surprisingly an hour later, Foluke walked in. Immediately she walked in, something happened to my heart. I felt very alive and at peace. I felt as if I have known her for more than 20 years. From the first day, I saw her as someone that was going to be my friend for a very long time.

There have been a lot of controversies trailing how you got married to Kayode when he was still married, can you throw more light on this?

Foluke: when I met him, he was still a married man. Though he had issues in his marriage, he didn’t let me know then. But I just noticed that we have a lot in common, though I wasn’t looking at a relationship when I first met him. I was about relocating my kids to Canada at the time. I just saw a very intelligent, interesting young man that had a bright future. Since he was a married man, I didn’t attach anything to it at all. I saw him as someone I needed to work with like I always do with other people. Even at that time, it wasn’t like I had any intention or inkling that I was going to marry Kayode. We were just maintaining that cordial friendship between colleagues and enjoying each other’s company. Eventually, the issue with his ex-wife was full blown and irreconcilable. At that time, his ex-wife left the house and Kayode became a shadow of himself. After his ex-wife left, Kayode started calling up people to beg his ex-wife to come back. When he called me up, I said maybe our friendship was causing problems in his marriage. I took a leave and travelled out of the country. Unfortunately, things were still not just the same because she was still insisting that she was not coming back. Eventually, he called me one day but I told him I just wanted him to get his acts together with his wife so that I won’t be like a stumbling block between them and he said that things are no longer working between them and that he is convinced that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But I told him that we still need to take our time. So, I came back and we started the relationship. We actually started our relationship when his wife left him.

So the relationship with Foluke started after the crisis in your first marriage; what made you to break up your marriage and go for Foluke?

Kayode: I am not the one who broke up the marriage; it was my ex-wife and God that broke up the marriage. Foluke has been living with me now for about two years and she can tell that I am not a wayward man or the irresponsible type. So it is the decision of my first wife to end the marriage because she felt she was no longer enjoying it. Marriage should never be a do or die affair. It was never because we fought or I maltreated her or that I was not responsible that made her to leave. What made her to leave was spiritually inclined and it was better for her to leave than to die in my house. So she chose a better option and it has paid off. Today we are good friends and we still talk on phone. I am also 1,000 percent convinced that Foluke Daramola is the woman of my destiny. Over 65 men of God cannot be wrong. I don’t do anything without asking God first.

How did he propose?

Foluke: From the outset when I came back from England, it was obvious that he wanted to settle down with me. It was early February and I said I wanted to have a birthday party and he said I cannot have a birthday party. When I asked why not, he said we are getting married on my birthday. He proposed to me exactly a year after we met, on my birthday. We agreed to just do the engagement even though we couldn’t do the registry because it was taking our time. So we just decided to have the traditional marriage.

What qualities did you see in each other that made you fall in love?

Kayode: Foluke is a complete woman that has a very open heart. If you offend my wife now, you will know you have offended her now and she will react to it now and she will end it there now. She does not go to bed with her grievances. She is also not stingy. If my wife has five million naira in her account, you will know that it is there. She is a very caring mother. She loves the children impeccably. She is a woman that loves God so much. My wife can recite about 25 Psalms in the bible off hand. We are compatible in a lot of things. My wife is a fantastic cook. I don’t know who taught her how to cook; a celebrity and a Lagos girl? She is also highly romantic.

Foluke: He is educated, enlightened and honest. He is very intelligent and optimally exposed. It got me drawn to him. Kayode is highly emotional and he is not a flirt. My husband does not mess around. He might not be a pastor, but the qualities that Kayode has are the ones that I count myself really lucky. The same thing that applies to me also applies to him. If my husband is really angry, he can yell and it is over. He is not violent at all against a woman. He is one person that is so open hearted and he is trusting. He has a sincere and undiluted love for me and he is one person that has love for God. He is generous and honest. So I found all these qualities that I want in a man in him and a man I can be proud of anytime. Those are the qualities that I saw in him that made him very different from the others. I have been in an abusive marriage in the past and I told myself that in everything, if any marriage is abusive, no matter what that person had to offer me, I won’t be found in it.

You mentioned that Foluke is highly romantic. How does she bring romance into your marriage?

Kayode: The first way a woman can position herself to attract her husband is by knowing how to dress. The fashion sense and dexterity must be right and Foluke has that. She knows how to dress to kill. You need to see my wife when she is going for an event; she knows what to put on at the right time. She also makes herself available. She is a woman that has dedicated herself to the exploration of her husband. My wife is always available and does not complain. Foluke can give me anything I want, spiritually, physically and emotionally. When a man is over fed, he will not have reason to look elsewhere.

Foluke: Every man wants a decent and attractive woman. But sexually, most men want a ‘Bitch’, sorry for the use of language. I don’t know why some women feel that if they do some styles or if they sleep with their man in a funny way, it is a sin. I go all out to understand what will make my man happy. I go all out to give my man what any girlfriend cannot give him. I make sure that I don’t make it a monotonous thing. I made my husband my best friend because we talk about everything. If you build such relationship with your spouse, you would know each other intimately and you won’t even have any allowance to be unfaithful to one another because it won’t cross your mind. One thing I cherish most even more than the celebrity and money, even more than the glitz and glamour is my marriage. I hold it dearly because I see that is where I get true happiness and true satisfaction. I don’t see anything wrong in wearing bum shorts in my house to get my husband more attracted to me. So I put all these spices in my marriage to make it work.

Foluke is endowed in the chest region, is that what attracted you to her?

Kayode: Of course, but that is not the primary reason of getting married to her. Although, is there any right-thinking man in Nigeria who will see a celebrity like my wife even on TV that will not admire her or get attracted to her? For how long will a man continue to police a woman? Her natural endowments are okay for me and I am enjoying them but the fact remains that Foluke can only be my wife and not everyman’s wife. So this is my message to all those men out there that Foluke can only be one man’s wife and it is me.

You knew Foluke Daramola as a star even before you met her. How do you handle issues when you see scandals written about her in the media?

Kayode:   If two people want to sustain their marriage, they must learn to trust each other unconditionally. That trust can only be built by knowing who you are getting married to and by understanding her. I know who my wife is and with the kind of heart she has, there are certain things she can never do. So there is nothing any media organization can write that can destroy our marriage. This is because the bond between us is deeper than the surface. One of the hazards of being a Nollywood star is for media houses to want to do something to hurt them so I have come of age. The two of us have decided that there is nothing any journalist writes that can separate us.

Your marriage generated a lot of controversies. How do you feel about the things written about you in the media?

Foluke: When I see the things written about me in the media, it used to affect me a whole lot. But I just thank God for the kind of person my husband is because I have never gone out and my husband will call me to ask ‘where are you?’, or given me any chance to doubt him. So the kind of confidence he has in me is one that I cherish and thank God for. But how many of our actresses are that lucky? Even when they want to keep their home, because of the things written about them, it keeps the man on the edge. At the end of the day before you realize what is happening, that marriage is over. The same media will come out to say that these actresses cannot keep their marriage. We celebrities have feelings too, we want to have a settled home. The media should try and help us and try not to scatter what we are trying to build. I am imploring the media guys to try and channel their focus to celebrating true values.

What is that bond holding or sustaining your marriage?

Foluke: It is perfect understanding and spiritual conviction. Spiritual conviction cannot hold it alone but perfect understanding has been the bond in my marriage. My husband will always tell me that perfect understanding is stronger than love. This is because two people coming together for marriage must love each other but because there is no perfect understanding, you find out that there are a lot of divorce cases everywhere. Another thing is that Kayode loves my children unconditionally. For us women, if you see a man that loves your children, you become that man’s fool. So I couldn’t help but to be endeared to him. My mum loves him very much too. We also forgive each other easily. We are always ready to apologise.

Do you check each other’s phone?

Kayode: Yes, I do when I want to check for something and I may stumble on some messages that some men send to her. I don’t take them as anything and I don’t even ask her because I know she is a celebrity and she is endowed in the right place that will make men to be sending her text messages. I don’t hold it to heart unless I don’t want to help her sustain our marriage; else I will start getting edgy, unnecessarily jealous and troublesome. But when she checks my own phone, there is problem. Foluke is highly jealous. But she has changed after several fights. She does not search my phone anymore. Now she has left my phone alone and there is peace.

Foluke: This is the first time my husband is telling me that he stumbles on messages on my phone. He has never spoken about it. But me, I used to check his phones but I have changed in that direction. He said something once that I am the celebrity and he is the one who is supposed to be jealous. As a fine hardworking young man, women will always send text messages and I raise eyebrows and get upset. Overtime, I just told myself that I know my man and it is left to me to stop that character. I understand now that it shows respect to both parties. I understand that he will not do what I wouldn’t do as well.