Try To Understand the Reason for Their Jealousy

This largely involves trying to understand the specific triggers, reasons or roots for feelings of jealousy in the person that will help you effectively deal with the situation. Basically what you should eventually understand is that the jealousy of a friend or partner isn’t particularly motivated by who you are but by something you possess that they either wish was theirs or they could keep all to themselves (i.e. unwilling to share with any other).

Try To Avoid Pampering Them

You should be understanding to the person quite alright, but try to avoid responding to and validating the feelings of jealousy your friend or partner has. This doesn’t mean you should ignore the person or ignore the fact that they are jealous, but more like you should not let the fact that they are jealous dictate and control your actions and reactions towards them.

Avoid Their Jealousy Triggers

In trying to understand the reason for their jealousy, once you have been able to identify certain things you do or certain situations that trigger or incite feelings of jealousy in a friend or partner, as much as you can, try to avoid doing those things amidst them or being in those kinds of situations with them.

Talk to the Person

Talk to the person and be open about your feelings (however, be careful with your words and don’t be insulting or caustic with your words in the name of being truthful). Communicate to the person about certain behaviours they exhibit when jealous that bothers you, how you feel about them, how they affect you as an individual and how they affect your relationship with the person. Sometimes a jealous person is unaware of their irrational behaviours, so you have to gently and patiently communicate this.

Distinguish Between Relationship Abuse and Jealousy

There is quite a thin line between these two so you have to be careful and meticulous with this one. Be vigilant and sure that the jealousy of this person has not escalated to some kind of emotional abuse to you. Once physical abuse has begun that’s all the sign you need and will ever need to leave immediately.

Try to Address the Person’s Insecurities and Trust Issues

The only thing that can truly help a jealous person get better is when he/she is able to effectively deal with their insecurities or trust issues. This is because insecurities and trust issues are the underlying causes of feelings of jealousy. For trust issues, the both of you can try to take active roles in building trust in the relationship by simply deciding to trust one another no matter what. Insecurities require a bit more effort but once the triggers of the insecurities are identified, it’s possible to effectively deal with and overcome the insecurities.

– Damilola Ojo, Jumia Travel