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Women Are Their Worst Enemies – Ifeoma Fafunwa

Ifeoma FafunwaHaving worked as a professional Creative Director in the UK, US and Nigeria for over 20 years, Ifeoma Fafunwa brought her experience to bear in the play ‘Hear Word!’ where she probes into the trials and vicissitudes of the Nigeria woman. Fafunwa, who is the director, producer and one of the writers of ‘Hear Word!’ talks on her encounter with the play in this interview with ORUKPE NELSON…

Tell us about your growing up?

Well, I was born in Lagos and left for the US at age 16.  I graduated with a degree in Interior Architecture and worked for many years in architect’s offices in the US.  However, I always had a love for theatre and film and I spent a lot of time watching or dreaming of being in theatre or film. I started taking acting classes in my mid-twenties and I did become an actor for a while. I would go back and forth between architecture and acting; sometimes I would do the two at the same time.  By the time I moved back to Nigeria, I had already done some directing and writing in film, theatre and TV.  I ran into Joke Silva, who was my senior in Holy Child College and she asked me if I would like to direct the ‘Vagina Monologues’ which she was producing.  That actually launched my ‘Nigeria theatre journey’.

What informed the writing and production of the play ‘Hear Word’?

I was born here in Lagos and later travelled abroad. When I came back, I noticed that there was a kind of weight on the Nigerian women that men didn’t really have. They have to take care of so much more – dealing with in-laws, home work, tending the children, caring for the home and they are expected to balance everything. About that time, the Kudirat Initiative for Democracy (KIND), together with Joke Silva were doing a show of the V monologue.

So knowing that I was working in the Theatre Arts and Films in the US, they asked me to direct that show. In the course of directing that show, I started getting more and more involved in women issues, and realizing more and more how women face challenges and how they have to tolerate a lot in different parts of Nigeria.

Recently, I started thinking about the amount of energy and power that women can actually contribute to the Nigerian society if they were not busy worrying about small things that they shouldn’t worry about – is my husband going to take a second wife, have I gotten a male child and lots more. Their brains and their capacity is so much that I started thinking, why are they using it for the wrong thing?

I also realized that women themselves are their worst enemies. Because mothers-in-law think they must demean their daughters-in-law, sisters in law and others who should be mentors think they must deal with the younger woman. So I realized we are getting this whole thing wrong. What if we put our resources to empowering those women to nation building?

Imagine what will happen in this country. A lot of things happen in this country that if women were on the table when the decisions were made, the outcome would be different. You wouldn’t make a decision to get thousands of youths to come and write a recruitment test in one location if a woman is on the decision making table. Why the title ‘Hear Word’? I wanted Nigerians to listen to women.

The full title is Hear Word, Naija Woman Talk True. It is like urging the Nigerian women ‘You… speak up the truth’ and stop pretending that nothing is happening to you’. This is because the woman is trained not to say anything – if you are raped, you don’t say anything, lest you lose your value. If you are battered you don’t say a word because there is nobody to really help you. So what we are saying is tell the truth about what is going on so you can move beyond it. We are also telling our country, let’s tell the truth about where we are.

How long did it take you to put ‘Hear Word!’ together?

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I think it was several years cooking. I might not have known I would get to this level, but it may have been more than five years ago that I had a desire to tell this story about the incredible capacity and potential of Nigerian women.

What was the experience like, working with such talented and accomplished artists that make up the cast?

It was great. I’ve worked for years with Joke Silva and some of the other actresses like Ireti Doyle. We’ve been on different projects over the past years. I know them very well as women who are strong and dedicated. I chose people who are dedicated to the art of theatre, dedicated to the art of performance and dedicated to empowering women. They are people who believe in the strength and the capacity of women of Nigeria.

What about women’s issues? When did that become an interest to you?

When it comes to women’s issues, which is what this particular ‘Hear Word!’ show is all about, the impetus was coming back to Nigeria and experiencing how oppressive the culture was towards women. I asked myself if I could meet up with this kind of burden; women were juggling so much. It was a daily frenzy of braiding or weave-on, nails, aso-ebi, balancing work, looking after the children, in-laws, friends, managing their husband’s girlfriends, diplomacy at the office, warding off the surrounding males, cooking and making sure their husbands are satisfied and with ego’s intact. It looked like just too much.  Parallel all that with the fact that women are kind of cold to one another, and found one another threatening. When I asked myself what all of these was about, that’s when the need for this play sprouted.  It came from asking the question; ‘If women build other women, if the culture was supportive of women, if legislature was invested in women; what is the incredible possibility? There are 80 million Nigerian women, what can they be doing to build up Nigeria instead of ‘eyeing’ one another (smiles)?

You studied architecture, where did you get the love for theatre?

I think the love for theatre was always there.  I was born in the early 1960’s in Nigeria, and back then, you did not just come out and say you wanted to become an artist; everybody wanted their children to be lawyers, doctors or accountants.  It did not even occur to you to state that you wanted to be an actor or a painter…it was a very tough thing to do. I believe I was born to be in the arts.

Ifeoma-Fafunwa-Director-2How were you able to do the casting without issues?

The casting was based on actors who could dedicate the time because what you watched took a lot of time to put together. If I needed to work with people who were dedicated both to the message as well as the art form, I open eye, which means that the company that produced ‘Hear Word!’ has a mission to produce the best performance art you can find anywhere that has a social message of women and showcasing the potential for Nigeria. That takes time and passion to properly accomplish.

What do you say to men who see this play as a rebellious move?

We were all very pleasantly surprised to see so many men attend ‘Hear Word!’ It was about 50 per cent male turn out on the last day. This is new. But back to your question, no man has come up to tell me that the show was rebellious, in fact, the comments I get are quite the opposite.  Some of our avid supporters are men.  Besides, the characters who get the criticism in the play are; women which is what they like – to come ask themselves the hard questions, Why am I lowering my own value? Why am I mistreating my own children, and why am I being terrible to my daughter in-law. ‘Hear Word!’ is a play where women can reflect.  If a man is feeling uncomfortable, he is likely feeling guilty… (smiles).

One wouldn’t expect you to have come up with some of the local dialogues in the play.

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Well… (Laughs) I think you are looking at me with sunglasses on; I was born in Lagos.  I left when I was 16 years old but my parents were not people who believed in sheltering us.  They wanted me to know Nigeria.  We travelled across Nigeria, I knew my grandmother, interacted with many people. I do research, ask questions and hint at what I want.  The actors contribute, I encourage other writers to contribute and sometimes I ask people I meet.  The characters are people I know, they are from the real people that I have met, then the actor brings their own spirit and understanding to the character and dialogue.

Do you intend to get the play to wider audience because being a stage performance has shut out so many from sharing in the message?

Yes…we plan to eventually get it to where everybody in Nigeria can easily see it. Presently, we are interested in promoting performance art, so, we look for sponsors who would send us anywhere.  We were at Mushin Market, Oshodi Bus stop, and UNILAG (University of Lagos). At UNILAG, we had 1600 students at a subsidised ticket price. We are ready to go anywhere because we want to spread the benefit of watching this type of show. We have plans that next year, we will do much more open air productions where anybody can walk right off the street and come ‘Hear Word!’

How do you feel when people sing your praises and congratulate you for a successful production?

I feel very good about it but I am clear that this production is a combination of many people’s efforts and commitments.  The actors: Taiwo Ajai-Lycett, Joke Silva, Bimbo Akintola, Kate Henshaw, Iretiola Doyle, Dakore Egbuson, Omonor, Elvina Ibru, Ufuoma McDermott, Lala Akindoju, Odenike, Rita Edward, Debbie Ohiri and Zara Udofia. The stage manager, Seyi Emmanuel, and the tech team and crew.  I had amazing sponsors, writers, advisors, friends and audience members…. no be small thing.  The audience as you can see, you watched it yourself, (referring to the interviewer), becomes a participant in it. When I conceived it in my mind, I wished for many people to be involved and it has started already.  I hope it will get even bigger. Hopefully, people will send us stories, to tell us their stories, share in building the show.

You are an Igbo woman married to a Yoruba man. Did you do that because you were afraid of the touted harsh cultural treatment Igbo daughters-in-law are subjected to when their husbands die?

Not at all… (laughs). I married my husband because he treats me well; it did not matter where he came from.  I am grateful he is a Nigerian and he is from Lagos (where I grew up), but it is his consideration and kindness that I found marriage worthy. He was and still is my best friend.  I married in my late 30’s; I had my criteria and I was not going to tolerate anything less.

It’s an issue in this part of the world when a lady marries late. How would you react to this based on the cause you champion?

I think people would do what they want and it’s anyone’s choice to marry whenever they want. ‘Hear Word!’ only expresses the undue pressure placed on women to marry by a certain age.  It also shares of the trauma and danger of a woman marrying before she is 16.  I personally do not think a woman should marry before she is 18 because I did not have the foggiest idea of who I was, what I wanted and what I could tolerate by that age.  I believe it is best to marry when you know something about yourself and I think the sooner a young woman gets out into the world and lives by herself, feeds herself and earns a living, the quicker she will have an idea of what her value is.

With the cause you champion, could you tell us what your experience has been in marriage?

I think here is where I should be thanking God and feeling lucky (silence).

What would you do if someday your husband brings a child claiming he got the child from another woman?

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It would be conceited of me to say I know what my reaction would be.  I do not know.  The question seems to me so different from my reality right now. That is the honest truth. I don’t know what I would do because like I said, my husband is my best friend, so I would need to try to understand what was happening. I can safely say that it won’t go over lightly…it would be the end of an era as we knew it.  Things will shift. Levels go change. The peace and equality that my children now believe is reality will become a thing of the past.  If I am still in the marriage when the dust settles, it would have to be a very, very attractive proposition.

You appear to be one who is not given to frivolities. What was your growing up like?

I came from a very conservative background, my mother was a Vice Principal in a school and my father was a civil servant and a sport personality. My mum was very religious. She did not believe in any flamboyance, she did not wear makeup and she believed in strong ethics and values. Maybe that affected me. My mother was not in any way moved by status or money, not in the least bit. She did not bend or compromise her values for anyone….king or pauper. As a child, I did not understand it but as an older person, I realised that she was very comfortable with her choices, her principles and her person. My father was the son of Owele of Onitsha but he never told us that. My parents were regular, humble people and I think that is the basis for my behaviours.

What is your beauty routine?

I wish I had a good beauty routine.  Life gets hectic so I have to keep it simple and do the best I can. Things for me are quite simple with plain soap, water and Oil of Olay.  What is more complicated is that I watch what I consume.  I avoid foods that are packaged, processed or preserved, so most of the food I eat comes from local markets.  I avoid juice and soft drinks.  Where I am bad is that I enjoy desserts.  I know if I did not eat desserts I would look fabulous! (Smile)

Tell us about your love for ankara fabric and your style:

My style is rather simple.  Occasionally, I dress up in formal wear complete with gele/head-tie or I will try to look hip and wear a pair of jeans.  However, my regular daily style is quite simple and comfortable.  I like long dresses and long skirts made of ankara fabric.
Ankara is special to me because it has so many colour combinations and patterns that it allows me to match my mood to my outfit.  I can make it formal by embellishing it or sew something very simple.  Ankara can be made into something classically Nigerian like Iro and Buba or into a very contemporary short dress.  I like the versatility and I love that my favourite designer, Ituen Basi, uses ankara for her designs.  It is cotton so it is light, cool and you can wash it.  Although the origins of ankara are not African, it has become globally identified as ‘African Print’ and the patterns are influenced by West African tastes over many, many years.

Tell us about your family?

I am married and have four lovely children.  My husband is an easy-going guy and is very supportive of my work and so he helps me a lot.  We work very hard during the week so on the weekends we both hang out with our kids.  We go to the beach or go swimming and play games together as a family.  Like everyone, I worry about my kids because they do not get to do the things I did as a child like ride my bike on the road or walk to a friend’s house.